with your own penis?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
