I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
