I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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