i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
