We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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