I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
