The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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