Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
