I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize