STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
