I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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