is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
