so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
