So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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