someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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