they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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