how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
