did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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