My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
