You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You have to summon your inner elephant
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
