fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
