Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
