Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
