She's JV to your varsity
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
