how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
