This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
