Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I believe in your delicious
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
