When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
