Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my being single is dangerous.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
