come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
