it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
