porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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