i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
