real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
