She's JV to your varsity
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
