I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
