I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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