Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
