I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
