But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
