My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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