You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
