This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
