A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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