i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
