the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
