Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
