laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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