That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
