You made me cry and you don't even care
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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